My diary

Dark black clouds lead to creative tales online.

A fairly significant investment happened today and a very long story accompanied the reason for this purchase.

You see, after several super busy days (which were all also amazingly awesome to be honest) came a very deep and large crash. Working at the university is coming to an end in just a couple of short weeks time and I will be sad to leave the role I have enjoyed as a senior student ambassador. This also included some social media management for the accessibility ambassadors team which I LOVED. This is a digression of this story and unnecessary but I am painting the picture that I was so happy to be working so hard around the universities.
We shared hugs and handshakes as it is freshers week after all. Networking but in a way which was more like catching up with friends. I love this.

Starting university as a post graduate student was so exciting on Saturday and the people I met were more than amazing. Like minded, heart centered and creative. Just what the Dr ordered. However, this was also coupled with a lot of closer listening to new voices (I’m half deaf and it takes me a while to tune in to new surroundings, voices and people) which I’m told by the ENT professors is exhausting.
As well as this we walked at speed (and then walked some more) around the city. A beautiful, walled city with plenty to see to make you smile, yet on this day there was much to achieve and it was also raining. Several of us were curly hair girls and I didn’t feel ‘on ceremony’ about the wet/frizzy hair situation. But I’m not a fan of walking in rain. Cold, yes, snow, yes. Anything but rain.

An enjoyable day was had but I’d not slept properly for 3 nights which is most unlike me. Lots of places hurt in my body. Sunday was a day in bed. Feeling quite grumpy, in lots of pain and rather exhausted. My mind was saying ‘be dynamic!’ and my body was saying, ‘rest!’. The body WON.
Monday came and I undertook work of old which still helps pay the bills, I love and always enjoy catching up with my clients. They are ALL incredible. Then it was on to choir. And here stops the row of awesomeness.
My familiar black cloud started rolling in…..what?? Who was I kidding? I shook this off as best I could, knowing that all I had seen this summer were white fluffy clouds that breezed by without ruffling feathers…

Black clouds? No.

Nothing swept them away.

Crying is pointless but unstoppable.

All I could do was cry. And reach out to friends who would be helpful and keep me safe during this fleeting dark moment. I was confused. I thought this had all gone. Summer time was so kind to me. Summer saw brighter days in every respect.

The following morning was accompanied by a terrible headache and a need to eat rubbish. Which is something my body doesn’t like as I have all those GUT issues. Ugh. I’m supposed to be starch free for the Ankylosing Spondylitis. But I took the day to wallow a bit and call on those who love me enough to care. A handful of incredible people who help me feel better – including my fluffy ball of loveliness.

Choices were made for me in the past already But now it was time to face up to them. I was needing to admit there are certain parts of life that I struggle with. And my work would need to get online and be successful online, knowing that many writer types deal with this is oddly reassuring. Which is likely why we are writers.

My business needs to be totally online. I know. Denying it would be daft.

 

Inspiration from the darkness

Onwards now. Time to be the very best I can be. The best creator, coach, helper to others who need to know the stories of life in order for them to be inspired enough to become the best them.

 

Colours a plenty, the fonts will be more than original in my own handwriting, enough to be my specific brand.

Blogs and tales of whatever fills my head that day, accompanied by pretty photos and moments created by the new range of Apple products I have in order to help me create despite my challenges, in spite of them. Guided? Yes, i believe I have been guided. All the tools are in place to step into the reality of being the creator and story teller I was keen to be as a child and yet only now chose to pursue.

 

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